Saving Grace

Aren't roosters on top of this?

I’m unclear here. Is Daylight Saving Time supposed to save me daylight or time? I only ask because a couple times a year someone tells me it’s Daylight Saving Time and the only real change I notice is that I spend a not insignificant amount of time trying to move the three old-school clocks in our house an hour forward or backward.

In the spring, Daylight Saving Time officially begins and we “spring forward” — which is just a fancy way of saying I lose an hour of sleep. In the fall, Daylight Saving Time officially ends and we “fall back” — which is just a fancy way of saying everyone spends about a week wondering why it’s hard to sleep at bedtime.

When I was younger, I really liked the end of Daylight Saving Time because it meant the bar—legally required to close at 2 a.m.—had one additional hour to serve drinks. But those days are long behind me. I haven’t seen 2 a.m. in years, unless you count the occasional shuffle from bed to bathroom.

The day after Daylight Saving Time, I look for extra time. Finding none, I look for extra daylight. Somehow, not only is there not extra daylight — there’s actually less daylight. Is it possible Daylight Saving Time is making things worse?

What exactly is Daylight Saving Time saving? Are we really trying to save Time? If so, who are we saving Time from? It seems to me that Time indeed has a few enemies and could use saving. And yet — does Daylight Saving Time get people off social media? Nope. Does Daylight Saving Time grab a few extra moments from Death? I don’t think so. Daylight Saving Time seems to save exactly, lemme do the math, carry the one, exactly no Time whatsoever.

But maybe the genius behind Daylight Saving Time is trying to save daylight? I like daylight. If daylight needs saving, I’m all for it. As a matter of fact, this time of year I can’t help but notice each day has a little less daylight than the day before. So Daylight Saving Time to the rescue! Hooray!

Only… umm.. the thing is… It’s not working! Here in Minnesota, in October we’re losing about three minutes of daylight a day. That doesn’t sound like much until you start doing math. I know. Nobody likes math. That’s why I did it for you. From the summer solstice to the winter solstice, we lose almost seven hours of daylight?!

So I’m going to come right out and say it. Daylight Saving Time doesn’t save Time or Daylight.

That’s not to say Daylight Saving does nothing. I have noticed Daylight Saving Time does confuse my seven-year-old. She believes light means it’s day and dark means it’s night. Which means when I wake her for school now, she points out the window and says, “It’s still night.” I explain, no honey, it’s morning. She points again, Dad. I know what night is.

That’s when I go deep into the closet and pull out the 3D solar system model. Making up approximately seventy-five percent as I go along, I explain the tilt, orbit, and the Earth’s position relative to the sun. I always bring up the rings of Saturn, not because they have anything to do with daylight on Earth, but because they’re very pretty and an excellent distraction.

If Daylight Saving Time is for farmers, couldn’t farmers just start waking up earlier—on their own? Do we really have to shift everyone’s clocks for them? Don’t farmers have roosters? Aren’t roosters on top of exactly this sort of thing?

So that leaves us with the question: if we’re not saving daylight and we’re not saving time, what exactly are we saving? Confusion, probably. The illusion of control, certainly. Maybe we’re just doing this to mess with the roosters — which looks good on paper, but doesn’t actually work. I guess the only saving grace of Daylight Saving Time is that it gives me a window to share my deep knowledge about the rings of Saturn. For example, did you know each ring — no one knows exactly how many there are — is made of a different kind of candy?